First off, slightly belated Happy Birthday to our one and only Kinomoto Sakura! This marks my first blogpost of this year, and I missed a bunch of holidays since the Halloween post. But the past year, as I think for many people, is sort of a black hole in my mind, hence maybe such a void is represented here as well. Still, things are looking up, aren't they, one year and some later? There was much lost because of the pandemic, but it has also been an opportunity to remind us of the things we are blessed with. Mind you, it's been difficult to remember this at times for me, as it must have been for everybody around the globe. For me, a part of the difficulty was trying to carry on with a semblance of normalcy when things really aren’t normal. But speaking of blessings, I had the New Trials community on my mind a lot during this time, because for me, it is the most global network of friends that I have, so my thoughts were with this community (despite my lack of updates). It has also been a source of solace for me, to see all of you doing well and going on.
I think I experienced perhaps the greatest lack of creative inspiration I have ever experienced in my life in the past year. Some people during quarantine and social distancing rediscovered or got in touch with their creative sides, and it was a time for much fruitful outcome. That was definitely not the case for me. I thought creative inspiration came from within, but I guess it must have been more external influence than I had thought it to be. Funny thing is, it's not like I spent the last year watching tons of Netflix either. All my friends list off all these Netflix shows I have to watch but maybe I'm the last person left on earth that is not subscribed to Netflix (because I know I'll never get off if I get started). The thing is, I think I have not really enjoyed anything that I usually enjoy in the past year, whether it be writing, art, listening to music or discovering new shows. I enjoy fashion and makeup, for example, but haven’t even opened up the fashion magazines I am subscribed to in the past year. My writer's block wasn't just toward New Trials but also related to work. I just wasn’t feeling inspired at all. So, kudos to everybody who was able to increase creative productivity during the pandemic, but I guess I learned that in times of duress, I'm the type that shuts down the creative juice when going into survival mode. I've always thought that if you take away writing from me, I will be empty. And it a sense, I did feel rather empty during this period. I did read a lot though, which I guess is a part of stripping down to the basics in survival mode for me. Of course, I live in a country that didn't really lock down and continued on with life and work, albeit limited social contact, so I feel like I moved through this past year in a haze, and here we are in the spring of 2021, sort of emerging from the fog, into a new frontier of a post-pandemic era.
I did get over my writer's block, or fundamentally lack of any creative inspiration, earlier this year and am eager to get back to New Trials and other projects, but then workload’s been overwhelming because three of my juniors quit in the past three months. I exploded at my boss for the first time last week and finally told him something along the lines of, "I have human limitations, and there is a limit to how much I can cover for everybody else's slack." I'm not usually the type that speaks out, but I guess I had my breaking point too. Anyhow, I felt a whole bunch better afterwards. I am sort of a workaholic in that I feel responsible to do well in my job, or any assignment I am given, but I also need plenty of my “own time” and Asian work culture and general culture really just doesn’t appreciate that unfortunately (don’t let me get started on family).
The latest fanart of Sakura is me trying to prove to myself that Sakura can look good in lavender and realizing again it really isn't her color. I always took to heart a comment someone once left on my Sakura and Eron fanart on devianart that lavender really isn't Sakura's color. I think I finally realized it’s probably because Sakura is warm-toned with her hair color and green eyes, and lavender is a cool-toned color. Personal color is a bit trend in K-Beauty. This was supposed to be a really quick fanart just to mark Sakura’s birthday and then suddenly the flowers exploded everywhere. It took as much time drawing flowers as it did the rest of the fanart, hence this is slight belated. Am I the only one who wishes April Fool’s Day can be declared an international holiday? I hate it when it falls on a week day so I can’t properly celebrate Sakura’s birthday, being an otaku at heart. Also, I don’t think I’ll be drawing flower wreaths again unless it’s someone’s wedding in the New Trials-verse. The thing is (mumbles) I was supposed to have a grand new update in time for Sakura’s birthday but I didn’t and considered disappearing even longer but that’s just not right. I missed New Year’s Day, the Yahoo New Trial Community’s anniversary in February, plus Valentine’s Day and White Day, so I will also mark those here as well! And this is a fanart for Christmas since I didn’t write a separate Christmas blogpost.
Music Spotlight: IU – Celebrity I especially loved the lyrics to this song, and found it very healing when it came out. It's less about stardom and more about how each individual is unique and special in their own odd little way. “Byul” means star in Korean and the song rather reminds me of Sakura as well.
